Turns out i did not go to sleep.
And i wondered how honest must we be to ourselves.
How much illusion is allowed to slip into normacy.

Awareness and Will.
Self

Being brutally honest, acknowledging all the incapability in ourselves
yet that does not necessary mean having the will to achieve a difference.
Inversely, happily leading one's life oblivious to all things bad, does that appeal to me?
Not having an awareness.
Or having one that is tinted.
See what you want to see.

Will is deciding how much good and bad you want to see
in the world around us.
Will is believing that you can be in control, that you are in control.

At least that's what i believe i have to achieve.
My own will.
To counteract my own awareness.
Awareness is innate.
Will is what we can used to strategize to deal with the awareness we are given.

I should really really.. will myself back to bed before my awareness collapses.